There’s No Such Thing as TMI Here
From the Sunday Self-Care Chronicles | 5/4/25
In this week’s Sunday Self-Care Chronicles I share a vulnerable story about how breast cancer impacted by sex life and why it’s so important to speak up about the entirety of your breast cancer experience.
This week’s issue touches on:
✨ Sex & intimacy after breast cancer treatment.
✨ Why I ask about things that I may not be able to “treat” in office.
✨ Ways to seek care for post-diagnosis needs no matter where you live.
Read the full email below - and if something speaks to you please feel free to comment, share, or reach out!
Hi beautiful,
I'll never forget the first time my husband and I tried having sex after my double mastectomy and partial hysterectomy.
My plastic surgeon gave us a date that we could carefully begin having intercourse again (it's hard to forget because its was July 4th) and not gonna lie, we were both ready.
We weren't attempting anything wild or crazy - I was still only 6 weeks out from direct to implant reconstruction - but when we got down to it, it just...didn't... work.
New breasts aside, it was like I was suddenly inside a totally different body.
What I used to enjoy very easily, naturally, and often, now felt like some sort of torture device (and not in a fun kinky way but like actual make-it-stop pain).
I remember thinking it must just be a glitch. My body is still healing and it will get better. But it didn't.
Surgical menopause spared me from extreme hot flashes and mood swings (the things I was actually worried about) and threw me into vaginal atrophy in less than six weeks.
And instead of finding support and help when I asked my oncologist, I was told that because four months of chemo was next on my treatment agenda that I really had bigger things to focus on and probably wouldn't feel like it anyway.
What... the actual.... fuck (every pun intended)?
While she wasn't WRONG about that part, delaying any kind of supportive care like pelvic floor therapy or self-care resources (beyond the completely unhelpful phrase "use more lube") didn't exactly do me any favors.
In the years since, we've found ways to make things work for us - thanks mostly to my own research and willingness to spend a lot of time and money on an arsenal of tools and products - but my vaginal and sexual health has never been the same.
And that leads me to a lesson that I’ve learned again and again—both as a breast cancer survivor and someone who works with other survivors every single day.
There is no such thing as TMI when it comes to breast cancer.
And yet, so many of us are left to Google things in the dark.
Why does this scar feel tight?
Am I supposed to be this tired all the time?
Is it normal for sex to feel totally different now (or barely be possible)?
What even is this rope-y thing under my arm?
Should I be worried about this swelling?
These aren’t small questions. They’re part of your healing—and they deserve real answers. Not a shrug. Not a pamphlet. Not “just wait and see.”
When you work with me—whether in person or virtually—these are exactly the things we talk about.
Because I’ve been there. And I’ve trained for this. And I want you to feel comfortable asking the hard stuff, the weird stuff, the emotional stuff, the “should I be worried?” stuff.
Too many people think they're the only ones dealing with something and the truth is you are almost always NOT the only one and you don't have to face it alone.
If you're local:
Come see me in my Buffalo office. While certain areas are outside my scope of practice for caring for you through bodywork, I will never shut you down or close the door on your "whole human" needs.
Whether it’s lymphatic drainage, scar tissue release, or just lying still and being held in a space that feels safe—you’ll leave feeling seen, supported, and more connected to your body —and if needed with a couple of extra resources, recommendations, or referrals.
If you're not local (or just want to talk it through first):
That’s exactly what my Ask Amy virtual consultations are for.
You bring your questions, your fears, your “is this normal?” stuff. I bring my experience, my resources and connections, and my whole heart. No topic is off limits and together, we’ll make a plan.
You deserve care that talks about everything.
No shame. No judgment. No topic too small or too sensitive.
Because when we talk about the real stuff—that’s when real healing starts.
💭 Something to consider:
What have you been carrying quietly that might need a space to be seen, named, or explored?
You can share this with me or just reflect on it for yourself for now.
☕️ I’d love to hear from you:
What have you been carrying quietly that might need a space to be seen, named, or explored?
You can share this with me or just reflect on it for yourself for now.
Each and every Sunday (and all the days in between), I'm always in this with you.
P.S. I loved what one of my clients, Brandy, shared after our work together:
“I just want to say thank you 🙏🏻 You will never fully understand how much you have helped me.. I came to this city without knowing a soul and barely made it through chemotherapy and surgery. Now as I begin to head into radiation all the things I couldn't even fathom processing are hitting.... the things we never want to talk about or even say out loud.... so glad we discussed sexual health today because I thought I can't be the only one.
Thank you for being you 🙏🏻❤️”