The thing missing from your breast cancer-related self-care is probably your SELF.
Look, I know the term self-care isn’t new.
In fact it’s way overused and often without much substance.
And sometimes, when you’re searching for external resources and tools, like so often happens during and after a breast cancer diagnosis, you lose track of the finer details of what self-care really means.
You find yourself overloaded with advice on changing up all your skincare and cleaning products, how to go vegan, or becoming a marathon runner even if you’ve never run a mile, etc… and it can feel like if we don’t do it all we won’t make it.
Trust me, we’ve all been there and it’s easy to fall into thinking these are the things that matter because we are driven by fear and looking for any form of control in our day to day lives.
But self-care is actually one of the most critical parts of recovery and survivorship so making it relevant to you and your experience is why I’m here and what we’re going to figure out today.
I’m going to help you put the SELF back in your survivorship self-care and why it can be the difference to ditching the overwhelm and actually following through with self-care practices and routines you enjoy.
What is breast cancer-related self-care?
At its most basic, breast cancer-related self-care is the combination of activities, practices, and routines that help you feel like your best self (as much as possible) after a diagnosis and through your life in survivorship.
Let's add a little more depth to that—we’ll start by defining “survivorship”.
Typically when you hear the term “breast cancer survivor” you probably envision someone who received a diagnosis, went through surgery and treatments like chemotherapy and radiation, and came out on the other side in remission or dubbed cancer-free.
If that’s your experience then I am so happy for you! (So far it’s mine and I’m very grateful).
But if we’re really honest, survivorship doesn’t have to mean cancer-free or “no evidence of disease (NED)”.
What it really means is everything that happens after your diagnosis because from this point on, you are living in the aftermath of cancer, with or without it in your body, and if that’s not surviving then I don’t know what is.
So going with this definition, breast cancer-related self-care is anything that you do for yourself after a breast cancer diagnosis - physically, mentally, emotionally - that feels restorative, helps you cope, or moves you forward in your recovery and healing goals when it comes to your life in survivorship.
Why do you need to focus on the SELF in self-care when it comes to your breast cancer survivorship?
I'm all about looking to others for inspiration and education.
Seriously, I do it on the daily - especially for things like social media because I always feel like there must be others out there who know how to do this stuff better than I do (check my IG account I’m sure you’ll agree lol).
But the problem with only seeking external answers for something as personal as your individual breast cancer experience is that you may be finding great answers - for everyone besides you.
Now I fully recognize that leaning on the lessons and experiences of others in our community is critical - it’s how we learn, it’s how we grow, it’s how we know we are not alone on this stupid ride.
But honing in on the SELF within self-care is important because:
Reason #1 - you are unique and ultimately so is your breast cancer experience..
Reason #2 - it will make whatever you try more enjoyable and therefore sustainable.
Reason #3 - you are going to get the greatest benefit holistically (like as in you as a whole person) in the end.
Important: Don't think that you can’t still draw on ideas from others or that things that work for your friend won’t work for you.
The truth is, there are a lot of commonalities in what we go through, so it is likely that certain self-care needs will be relevant to a lot of us.
The difference is starting from a place that is truly about you and then making those practices your own.
Breast cancer-related SELF-care in context.
Let me give you a real-world example:
Almost every person who receives a breast cancer diagnosis has some level of lifetime risk for developing lymphedema.
(Is this news to you? Check out this article I wrote for the Young Survival Coalition a couple of years ago about breast cancer’s best kept secret!)
Based on this fact it would seem like there should be a straightforward protocol that everyone with a breast cancer diagnosis follows to reduce their risk of developing lymphedema (or managing it if they already have it).
But as individuals we can’t just assume that everyone needs the same self-care routine when it comes to lymphedema.
There are various factors that affect your level of risk - some statistical, like what types of treatments or surgeries you had, and some intangible such as your unique lymphatic system.
Additionally, someone with a lymphedema diagnosis needs different self-care routines to manage their condition than someone who is still just at risk.
And within those two states of being (living with lymphedema vs. being at risk) different people are going to find enjoyment and benefit in different ways.
My client Jane (totally made up name but totally true story) has early stage lymphedema and spends ½ the year in Florida and loves swimming.
Swimming is an EXCELLENT form of lymphatic support so when she is in FL it becomes much easier for her to manage her lymphedema with an activity that she loves.
When she is back here in Buffalo, without easy access to a pool, she struggles to keep up with daily management, and is more prone to frustrating flare ups of swelling and discomfort.
I have another client, Jean, who can’t stand the thought of getting in a pool but finds rebounding super fun and dry brushes daily.
She finds the practices soothing and truly beneficial to improving her skin integrity and reducing swelling.
I can tell Jane that she should be rebounding and dry brushing when she doesn’t have access to her pool, and Jean should add swimming to her lymphedema self-care management because it works so well for Jane, but if either one doesn’t like doing the activity, then what’s the point?!
The bottom line is if you don’t enjoy doing something, or it doesn’t align with who you are or how you see yourself, then it simply isn’t self-care for you.
Self-care needs to be as much about who you are and what you like as what problem it solves or the benefit it offers!
(Curious about dry brushing? Keep reading for a special resource.)
5 tips for identifying your best breast cancer-related self-care practices.
Raise your hand if you get it but still aren’t sure where to start. Be honest! 🙋♀️
That's no problem; here are some extra hints and tips to get you on your way:
Tip #1: Identify YOUR needs when it comes to life in survivorship.
What is causing you the greatest distress right now? Is it a physical issue like pain, restricted movement, scar tissue, or swelling? Is it a mental or emotional challenge like depression or fear of recurrence? Is it a lack of energy or stamina that limits your ability to function at an optimal level? Addressing one of these is going to have way more benefits than tossing out your favorite foundation.
Tip #2: Determine YOUR goals and priorities.
Eating more plant-based foods might be a great self-care practice for one person but really unnecessary for another, if they already limit their animal product intake. Increasing physical activity might be high on the list of someone who doesn’t currently do much but lower on the list for someone who already exercises 3x a week.
Tip #3: Lean into YOUR values.
Values act as a guidebook when it comes to decision-making. Your values help define what’s important to you and how you move through the world. This is about as “you” as you can get so don’t forget to consider them in SELF-care!
Tip #4: Remember to think about YOUR interests.
How can you take an interest or hobby of yours and turn it into a self-care practice that relates to your recovery or healing goals? Drawing on things you already do or enjoy can ensure that your self-care activities are not only more enjoyable but you are more likely to stick with them.
Tip #5: Ask for help.
Having someone to bounce ideas off of and reflect back what you say from an outside perspective (without making it about THEM) can be really helpful if you are feeling stuck. My “Ask Amy” Consultations are perfect for talking through your needs, goals, values, interests, and even your budget, to identify what self-care activities are ideal for YOU.
For a deeper dive into using these tips to create your perfect breast cancer-related self-care plan, you can read my article “When Self-Care Meets Strategy: Creating the Perfect Self-Care Plan for Breast Cancer Recovery” (and be sure to grab the free Self-Assessment Guide at the end!).
Key Takeaways
Let's wrap this up, shall we? The key takeaways to remember from this post are that SELF-care is about YOU.
As Your Breast Cancer Self-Care Specialist™, I make it my mission to empower women impacted by breast cancer (women like you and I!) to take healing into their own hands so they can make informed decisions about their bodies and live more confidently in breast cancer survivorship.
If you would like to see if I can support you, whether in-person in Buffalo, NY or virtually around the world, please drop me a line here hello@amyhartl.com. I love hearing from others in our breast cancer community no matter your diagnosis or survivorship experience.
Pssst, looking for a new self-care practice that you can take anywhere? You can also check out my self-paced workshop “Brush to Body” Dry Brushing for Breast Cancer”, now with Pay What You Wish community-based pricing!
In 60 minutes I will teach you what dry brushing is, how it’s helpful if you’re at risk of lymphedema or living with early stage lymphedema, how to choose YOUR brush, and how to use it safely and effectively when you’ve had a breast cancer diagnosis.
Click here to get “Brush to Body: Dry Brushing for Breast Cancer” now.
Oh, and come say hi on Instagram or LinkedIn and join the As We Are Now Self-Care Sisterhood!
I hope this post has been helpful!
Any questions? Comment below or shoot me a DM on Instagram and don’t forget to check out my previous posts here on The Sunday Self-Care Chronicles!
NOTE: The Sunday Self-Care Chronicles and all content written for Amy Hartl, LMT and As We Are Now LLC is written from my perspective as a cis-gendered white woman. Because this is my lived experience and what I know and can speak to, and because MOST people diagnosed with breast cancer are assigned female at birth (AFAB), I often use terms like “she, her, woman, etc..” However I recognize that breast cancer does not discriminate by race, by gender assignment or expression, or any other label or identifier that we use in our society. Therefore, this space, my free content, and my online services are all available to you, whoever you are, if you are living with a breast cancer experience.
I am also well aware that many people who are diagnosed with breast cancer will never see an end to treatment. For those still living with breast cancer, especially metastatic breast cancer, life “after” or “beyond” breast cancer may refer to diagnosis vs. an end to treatment but I use this language interchangeably and invite you to apply it how you will to your personal experience.
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